Morphine

To Amelia,

The other great mind 

You are the one that breathed life into this dead blog and had it not been for you, I doubt this would see the light of day.

Do you know what its like; to miss someone so much it actually hurts? To see them moving on without you?

 It burns, stronger than the brightest flame and pierces harder than the sharpest sword.  

But at the end of the day, you lick your own wounds while they try to fix on a band aid. 

Eventually they stop trying, they give up and let you be. 

You watch as they take steps you fear they would take, 

You feel your heart shattering as they walk further and further away, 

You cry out to them, blame yourself, grovel and plead for them to stay,

yet they walk, talking all the remnants of your heart, 

You're alone, empty and broken, 

You're trying to stay afloat on a boat that's sinking, 

You're gasping for air, you're almost under

You close your eyes and you think of all the memories you once shared, 

You look at the pictures, texts and notes, 

You live in the past, 

You're ready to let go, you begin to heal, 

You finally accept that they've moved on, 

You find someone new and your promise each other the world, 

You watch as they put your heart back together piece by piece, 

You admire them for managing to fix what you thought was permanently broken, 

You allow them to bask in their accomplishment, giving them the trophy they desire, 

You fell for it as they promised it would never be that way again,

You trust them as  you hand over what you recently got back, 

Only to have them do what they said they would not, 

Only to have your heart once again trampled on, 

You question if it's worth it and you do this over and over and over again, 

Until,

Until one day you stop letting people in, 

You stop allowing people to break what they once treasured, 

You build towers of protection around yourself, 

You never get too close, 

You've finally reached your limit and you're done, 

You've shut the doors forever, 

You've locked yourself alone in your kingdom, 

You're in a burning building and you don't want to be saved, 

You're lost but you don't want to be found, 

You've given up searching for the way out, 

You've bowed out and you've fought you final battle, 

You finally bow down to the darkness, 

Or, 

You find someone who sees the scars and kisses them away, 

Someone who takes the time to knit the pieces back, 

Someone who won't rip apart what was done, 

Someone who will rip apart the band aid, making you feel the sting for awhile, 

Only to show you what lies underneath, 

A scab of forgiveness, 

A fresh start the new tissues bring,

You find someone who holds you at gunpoint yet you know will never shoot, 

You finally find someone who stays, 

Someone who takes way all your pain, 

You finally find your morphine.