Walk Away.. A Saula Fanfiction

Okay, first up the disclaimers: I am in no way afflicted with Simon Cowell or Paula Abdul. The worlds in  purple are lyrics to The Script's walk away. PS: Go listen and you will fall in love with them.

Simon stroked her check. She looked so innocent and at peace when she was asleep. He moved towards the kitchen in attempts to clean up the mess he made. He looked at the shards of broken glass that   strewn all over the kitchen floor. He swept them up while replaying the events that had let up to glasses and plates being smashed on the ground.

“Paula, I…she…we need to talk. Paula put down her fork and looked up to face him.

”What’s wrong she inquired in a soft tone. “

 “Paula, I know  I promised but I just could not.. I mean .. she was ..it still is my fault but.. I can’t I don’t know why.. I am sorry.”

“Si.. you are not making any sense. Take a deep breath, calm down and try to tell me everything. You know you can always do that right?” she replied to his frantic tone.

“Paula, sweetheart. This has nothing to do with you. I love you darling but I.. I cheated on you Paula. It was with Britt. You know her right? Yeah, my new secretary. Well, she was flirting with me. I tried to tell her I had a girlfriend but she kept on throwing herself at me like a cheap floozy. I tried to stop her but she kissed me and I… I.. I gave in. I am so sorry Paula. I know I said I would never hurt you or break your heart again but.. I just could not help myself. Maybe loving me is not such great idea. It comes with so many heartaches, I just keep hurting and breaking you. Paula, I love you but.. I am not the person you need.” He said with a hint of remorse in his voice.

“ Si.. Si. Don’t say that. I love you. All of you, even your flaws and imperfections. I know that you can’t help yourself and I know you tried but really, It’s okay. Well, as long as you love me that is”

“Paula what is wrong with you? I just cheated on you for the fifth time. Even Terri broke up with me after the second affair. What is wrong with you woman?! Here I am ripping your heart up and you say you are okay with it? Paula… “ he said with anger building up in his voice.

“I. Just. Cheated. On you.” he said while picking up the glasses and plates and chucking them to the floor with each word to enforce his point.

“Look, at those broken shards. That represents your heart. I just keep playing with it and damaging such a precious thing. It can never be put back to its original state. How are you okay with that?”

“Si.. I said, I love you for you. As long as you do not do it intentionally I am fine. Besides, what can I do?  I have made peace with the fact that I have fallen in love with a playboy. Why do you think it took me so long to admit to myself that I love you? When I said it I mean it. Now stop being silly and finish your dinner. It’s your favorite, bangers and mash.

Simon lost it. He could not understand why she would so easily and readily forgive him. What hurt him the most was when she said she made peace with the fact she had fallen in love with a playboy. Her  innocence, naivety and acceptance broke him. Here he was destroying her, and she was enabling him.

She got up to rinse her plate and left him staring at his. He heard the water running in the sink. She walked back to the dinning area and started towards him. Suddenly, he felt a pair of arms wrap around him. He flinched at her touch. He felt so impure against her sweet and gentle touch. He shoved her to one side. He did not mean it to be so hard but sometimes he forgets that she is so little. He heard a bang and saw her hit the wall. She just stood up starred into his soul as if reading it and said, “Si, I am not leaving. When you come back to your senses, I will be in bed” she said before leaving him to stand there all alone.

Simon snapped back to reality. He had so many thoughts running through his mind. Most of them were laced with guilt. He remembered the second time he cheated on her. He decided to leave her and left her a note saying,

I don't know why she's with me

I only brought her trouble since the day she met me

If I was her, by now I would have left me

I would have walked away

But now I've broken away

Somehow instead she forgave me

She said a woman's got to do what she's got to do

Even if it means she denied herself the truth

Cause when you're in too deep you wake up when it's too late,

You've fallen in love in the worst way

And if you don't go now then you'll stay

Cause I'll never let you leave, never let you breathe

Cause if you're looking for heaven, baby it sure as hell ain't me

So walk away

Save yourself from the heartache

Go now before it's too late

Walk away..

He had given her permission. He had practically begged her to save herself but she still stayed, loyally at his side. She had turned down so many men that had thrown themselves at her. Many of them were rich and famous celebrities yet she said no not before giving a Paula style response of “I am not the one you are looking for or I am with someone.” That was Paula, she always made sure others felt good about themselves. Other peoples emotions and needs were always put before hers. He sat down in the darkness knowing full on that tomorrow, he had to tell Paula she could go. He could take the pain. After all, he deserved it.

It was five in the morning when he was awoken by a sound coming from the living room. He entered and saw Paula staring at their picture on her mantle. It was taken during their vacation to Paris. It had been the place he told her he loved her. She had on a short red dress that accentuated her curves and hugged her in all the right places. He being the Simon that he is, was wearing a low cut white shirt underneath the jet black tuxedo he had on much like the ones he wore on X factor. They were looking at each other with their noses touching. Both of them had the biggest and brightest smile painted on their faces. In the picture, they were positioned on the left with the Eiffel Tower on their right. It was a perfect picture that captured how much they loved, cared and adored each other. Although there was not much light in the room and there were thousands of photos of them on her mantle, he knew that she was looking at that one. It was her favorite, hell it was even his favorite picture. “Paula,” he stated.

“Shhh Si, let me enjoy the moment.” She said with a dreamy tone.

He knew she was replaying that scene in her head but he really needed to tell her this, “Its okay to go. I can take it. Go start a relationship with someone who can take care of you and make you forget your heart was ever broken. Someone who will sew the pieces back together. I am okay Paula. Just walk away.”

She smiled at him and gingerly placed the photo down.

“You may be able to survive if I leave you but I would not.” She silenced him off with a kiss.

She's standing in the heart of darkness

Saying I know you got a soul even though you're heartless

How could any woman in their right mind be so blind,

To find something this safe

Instead of walking with me she should have walked away

She finds color in the darkest places

She finds beauty in the saddest of faces

For such a groovy and headstrong city girl

Could've had the world but she's fallen in love in the worst way

And if you don't go now then you'll stay

Cause I'll never let you leave, never let you breathe

Cause if you're looking for heaven, baby it sure as hell ain't me

So walk away

Save yourself from the heartache

Go now before it's too late

But still she stays…..

So what did you guys think? I feel so stupid for even writing this. Oh well, my life is an open book.